Remaining resolute

3 Fundamentals That Will Enhance Your New Year

So here we are awaiting the arrival of 2022 and all it has to offer. It's the time of year when many New Year resolutions are dreamt up and when many of us set ourselves up for failure. Why, because we fail to get emotionally connected to our dreams or goals and because we have no clear over-arching "must" or reason that will carry us through the hard times. I have said this before in other blogs and will keep on saying it, because clarity sits at the heart of failure. If we truly understood what drives us we would tackle failure so differently.

So this year could be extra special - it could be the year that we rise above the need for things to be perfect or for the conditions to be right for us in order to feel successful and happy and free. We have experienced unprecedented challenges and uncertainties for two years, and for many people the challenges have been overwhelming beyond belief. This is not the place to debate the rights and the wrongs of what has happened and what is taking place right now, but it is the place to share some proven strategies that might support you as you take back a sense of control of your life and make plans that are independent of the conditions in which you find yourself.

Those of you who have worked with me know that I encourage all my clients to clarify their vision and values - to have something bigger than a one-off goal. A vision, backed by a set of values, ideally is one that you can live every day. This gives you a sense of purpose and enables you to feel that magic of fulfilment that so many people lack. As we approach the new year maybe this is the right time to assess what's important to you and what will drive you through this coming year and those to follow? The 3 fundamentals are;

  1. an emotional vision,

  2. a list of activities or things that bring you joy,

  3. a well-being routine - "the maintenance 3" - sleep, nutrition and exercise.

To get you started, ponder on this. Many of you will have experienced the coincidences in life where things seem to fall into place and the right people come along or the right opportunity opens up for you - have you ever reflected on these experiences? Have you ever stopped and really analysed what was happening just before? How were you feeling at the time? I can almost guarantee that you were feeling great and doing things you enjoyed! When I'm working with families, teachers or trainers and supporting them to tackle behaviour issues I always begin by asking what's going well. They usually struggle to find anything that's going well until I prompt them to look at small successes! The funny thing is we are always well aware of what we don't like or don't want in our life; it's usually staring us in the face and occupies our every thought. We are rarely able to talk about what we like or enjoy when we feel bad about something we don't like. The irony here is the more we talk about what we don't like the more a-tuned we are to seeing it and finding it! If we tip the scales and focus on what's working, however small, we begin to feel better and start to look for what we want! So those times when things flowed or worked out have nothing to do with coincidences at all - it's about perspective and feelings.

Where do these feelings come from and how do we change them when we feel down or focused on how bad things are? Awareness is the beginning and being aware that you have the power to change how you feel at any time - this brings a sense of freedom, although many of us see it as unrealistic - how can we change our feelings when it's someone else's behaviour impacting on us?

As we all know by now someone can't make you feel anything! They simply bring out in you something that was there already! We decide how we feel and this is one of those home truths we all find hard to accept! To change your feelings and emotional state, remind yourself of what brings you joy - what are you doing when you're in the flow or when time stops? Go back to when things were going great for you - what were you doing and who were you with, and recreate that feeling in the now. This may also help you create your vision and gain clarity on your values. All of this will be different for each one of us and there is no one way to get to the heart of what your vision and values are. I do highly recommend you practice writing them down with no editing. Let things flow. Write for the rubbish bin and treat it as an exercise - flex those writing muscles! Journalling of some sort is the recommendation of nearly all motivational coaches - see where it takes you.

The maintenance 3 - sleep, nutrition and exercise - form the basis of your success, and whatever that might look like for you. If you haven't got them ticked off nothing will last for long. I suggest to my clients that they programme these 3 areas so that no thinking is required! Make it easy to do the right thing and have it planned - keep it simple above all else. We waste so much time and energy in these areas and frequently give them way too much unwanted attention especially if we are failing in our general well being. Apply the same strategy as before - look for things that are going well, and recall when you have been successful before however small! Again, awareness means you are on the way to where you want to be.

Here are some examples you could try;

  • down load some exercises that work for you

  • use youtube video clips to inspire you

  • use a run or walking app

  • use a sleep app

  • preplan your weekly menu

  • shop in advance, and based on your menu

If you need variety the odd mystery meal nights or late night won't upset your regime, but keep the drama and excitement or spontaneity for your joy activities!

Einstein said thinking should be reserved for the important things in life! Remember this when you find yourself getting anxious or worried about daily life - the way out is to go back to your vision and your values, and do something that brings you joy!

If you'd like a dedicated coaching session to get you underway - book a session today!

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